You don’t love me. You don’t know me. You love who you think I am. If you knew me, you wouldn’t love me. And don’t try to pretend you know me, because I don’t even know myself.

I didn’t want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that’s really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you’re so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.

You don't want to get hurt, but ever think about me? I've been fucking scared of getting hurt yet i still keep fighting and trying because i know i have to get what i want. I could lose everything but i still continue to give and hoping you won't destroy me. I've given you that complete power to destroy me and been praying you won't but it's beginning to seem like i didn't pray hard enough. No rules of my past could ever apply to you. If it were anyone else i wouldn't have been so careless

Things are sweeter when they’re lost. Because once I wanted something and got it. It was the only thing I ever wanted badly… And when I got it it turned to dust in my hands.

i can feel that i’m falling down the path of hating myself again, and it scares me. But in a way, i like it. it feels natural and comfortable. It's like an old friend I haven’t seen in years.

tend to hide what I really think and feel because they don't really understand. Because I have believed that the worst thing in the world would be to lay myself bare and watch others turn away from the truth of my soul.

I sometimes worry more about what people thinks of me than what I am and what I want and even what I need. I need to be OK with being hated, as long as I am hated for the right reasons. If I am hated for standing up for myself, for loving madly and passionately, for my relentless pursuit of my dreams, even if I am hated by everyone in the world, I should be happy.I could be hated by someone for loving what I do, what I am, and who I love. That is the absolute worst that could happen. And that would be a triumph.

I don’t think this feeling has ever been so harsh. I feel like I can’t breathe.

I’m just a burden on everyone else. That’s all I am. That’s all I’ll ever be. All I do is annoy and ruin everyone else’s good time. Because I’m a worthless person. That’s it. I’m completely worthless. I feel like death.I want to vomit up all of this that I feel. I don’t think I can stand this anymore. I feel like my heart is constantly breaking. I feel like no one cares.

I wish I could feel worthwhile for a day.

I wish I didn’t feel so fucked up.